A new online channel showcasing emerging music from around the world.


—Glass Wave is a band about books. Every one of their songs is based off a different bit of classical literature, which we’re pretty sure The Hold Steady already did to a less-annoying effect. They’re made up exclusively by college professors, which is double-annoying and means they’re less good at playing their instruments than real musicians who have ironic tattoos or whatever ironic people have.
—We learned that Glass Wave is a band by professors about books because they have a very extensiveWikipedia page. At the risk of speculation, we’re pretty sure they wrote most of it themselves, because as professional music critics we would describe Wampole’s voice as “not good” rather than “haunting.”
—The cover of Glass Wave has a woman reading a book on it, which reminds us of a cold, sterile Weeknd album in which no one touched or even looked at each other.
—Glass Wave bills itself as a “progressive rock band,” which is true if you like your prog played at half the skill with twice the pretension. We would rather listen to Ozric Tentacles than Glass Wave, and Ozric Tentacles are mainly notable for breaking new ground in the field of aggressively shitty music.
—Other random slander: They sound like Steely Dan ran through a poop machine, also you could call them “Ass Wave” if you wanted to be unoriginal and really mean.


THE NEW YORK TIMES WRITER WHO HATES IRONY IS IN A REALLY SHITTY BAND

—Glass Wave is a band about books. Every one of their songs is based off a different bit of classical literature, which we’re pretty sure The Hold Steady already did to a less-annoying effect. They’re made up exclusively by college professors, which is double-annoying and means they’re less good at playing their instruments than real musicians who have ironic tattoos or whatever ironic people have.

—We learned that Glass Wave is a band by professors about books because they have a very extensiveWikipedia page. At the risk of speculation, we’re pretty sure they wrote most of it themselves, because as professional music critics we would describe Wampole’s voice as “not good” rather than “haunting.”

—The cover of Glass Wave has a woman reading a book on it, which reminds us of a cold, sterile Weeknd album in which no one touched or even looked at each other.

—Glass Wave bills itself as a “progressive rock band,” which is true if you like your prog played at half the skill with twice the pretension. We would rather listen to Ozric Tentacles than Glass Wave, and Ozric Tentacles are mainly notable for breaking new ground in the field of aggressively shitty music.

—Other random slander: They sound like Steely Dan ran through a poop machine, also you could call them “Ass Wave” if you wanted to be unoriginal and really mean.

THE NEW YORK TIMES WRITER WHO HATES IRONY IS IN A REALLY SHITTY BAND

Notes:

  1. milesraymer reblogged this from vicemag
  2. thegreasyghost reblogged this from vicemag
  3. crocodileblackpelvis reblogged this from vicemag
  4. drew-york reblogged this from noiseymusic and added:
    I wrote this and seriously fuck that New York Times article.
  5. roger-sterlings-lsd-trip reblogged this from vicemag
  6. waxenneat reblogged this from vicemag and added:
    Dying over here.
  7. meaganrosecroix reblogged this from vicemag
  8. djpizzalyfe reblogged this from noiseymusic and added:
    Can’t wait to start my own Asswave band.
  9. stubmle reblogged this from vicemag