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Is This a Review of the New My Bloody Valentine Album?
[Eds. Note: When Hanson sent in this review, we were confused. Surely if the long-awaited follow-up to My Bloody Valentine’s seminal 1991 album Loveless leaked, we would have heard, no? And yet, Hanson insists he’s heard the album. When we pressed him for a listen, Hanson claimed that an early morning energy drink accident had resulted in a failed hard drive, and that the blog on which he found the leak had disappeared. He’s stopped answering our emails, but continues to tweet. 
While we don’t want to say we don’t believe him, we also cannot say we do. What is clear, however, is that he reviewed something, and ultimately (given that taste is subjective and that it’s impossible to figure out if what I call “blue” is really what you call “blue” or if what I call “red” is actually what you call “green”)… isn’t that what matters?]

Do you remember the 90s? More specifically, do you remember when that famous inventor (Google’s been down for the last few days so this review will be entirely based on memory, apologies but not really) announced that he’d finished his latest invention? He held press conferences; I think I saw it on 60 Minutes. What will it be?!, the public wondered. A flying car, a miracle, a way to turn salt water into water into Zima? And then the inventor unveiled his creation: The Segway. And people were like, “A scooter? Fuck you for having us pay attention to you.”
Kevin Shields remember the 90s. And while I can’t be certain that he was following the media-storm that surrounded the birth of a $15,000 toy that maxes out at 15MPH (though you can totally imagine him owning and riding one), he’s certainly internalized its lesson. Which is to say: the follow up to Loveless cannot be a Segway.
And yet. And yet and yet and yet and yet. How could it be anything but? 
Given the amount of time and money and southern hemisphere imports that went into its creation, there was no way that Deeper, Redder, Still the Feeling could be terrible. But, at the same time, usually it’s not a good sign when an album takes 20+ years to finish. Often it means there’s a lack of ideas, overproduction, and just a general “this isn’t very good” vibe. What is surprising, then, is that it’s 2013 and the new My Bloody Valentine album is unequivocally great. 
Continue

Is This a Review of the New My Bloody Valentine Album?

[Eds. Note: When Hanson sent in this review, we were confused. Surely if the long-awaited follow-up to My Bloody Valentine’s seminal 1991 album Loveless leaked, we would have heard, no? And yet, Hanson insists he’s heard the album. When we pressed him for a listen, Hanson claimed that an early morning energy drink accident had resulted in a failed hard drive, and that the blog on which he found the leak had disappeared. He’s stopped answering our emails, but continues to tweet. 

While we don’t want to say we don’t believe him, we also cannot say we do. What is clear, however, is that he reviewed something, and ultimately (given that taste is subjective and that it’s impossible to figure out if what I call “blue” is really what you call “blue” or if what I call “red” is actually what you call “green”)… isn’t that what matters?]

Do you remember the 90s? More specifically, do you remember when that famous inventor (Google’s been down for the last few days so this review will be entirely based on memory, apologies but not really) announced that he’d finished his latest invention? He held press conferences; I think I saw it on 60 Minutes. What will it be?!, the public wondered. A flying car, a miracle, a way to turn salt water into water into Zima? And then the inventor unveiled his creation: The Segway. And people were like, “A scooter? Fuck you for having us pay attention to you.”

Kevin Shields remember the 90s. And while I can’t be certain that he was following the media-storm that surrounded the birth of a $15,000 toy that maxes out at 15MPH (though you can totally imagine him owning and riding one), he’s certainly internalized its lesson. Which is to say: the follow up to Loveless cannot be a Segway.

And yet. And yet and yet and yet and yet. How could it be anything but? 

Given the amount of time and money and southern hemisphere imports that went into its creation, there was no way that Deeper, Redder, Still the Feeling could be terrible. But, at the same time, usually it’s not a good sign when an album takes 20+ years to finish. Often it means there’s a lack of ideas, overproduction, and just a general “this isn’t very good” vibe. What is surprising, then, is that it’s 2013 and the new My Bloody Valentine album is unequivocally great. 

Continue

Notes:

  1. antioquiainteriorismo reblogged this from laintegral25
  2. hansonohaver reblogged this from noiseymusic and added:
    Apparently the new My Bloody Valentine is actually coming out tonight. Read this review I wrote of it before I heard it...
  3. thegentleartofchoking reblogged this from noiseymusic
  4. maruo003 reblogged this from vicemag
  5. laintegral25 reblogged this from vicemag
  6. xeroxan reblogged this from vicemag
  7. oldoriginal reblogged this from vicemag
  8. jeselynwijaya reblogged this from vicemag
  9. misuses reblogged this from vicemag
  10. gustamio reblogged this from vicemag
  11. aintgotnoladytronblues reblogged this from danilobortoli and added:
    WHAT DID I JUST READ (true confession tho: i have never been able to get into mbv, someone needs to explain what’s so...
  12. retiredboxer reblogged this from noiseymusic
  13. bubblegumcageiv reblogged this from unrational and added:
    This just keeps getting sillier. Trust Vice to kick it up a notch.
  14. danilobortoli reblogged this from unrational and added:
    ESTOU CONFUSO. Provavelmente é pegadinha.
  15. unrational reblogged this from noiseymusic
  16. yourheartissoloud reblogged this from vicemag
  17. javascribble reblogged this from vicemag and added:
    If this is real, I MUST FIND THE NEW MBV AND OWN IT!!!!!!
  18. in--dust reblogged this from fuckyeahrandombritishindiebands
  19. crystalmegaplex reblogged this from vicemag
  20. storybookcoma reblogged this from noiseymusic and added:
    If this is a hoax it’s actually had some neat thought put into it. And I would actually love it if the artwork turned...
  21. ponyrock77 reblogged this from vicemag
  22. sex-trash reblogged this from vicemag